One Smart Clog




Fic reqs are always open(although not guaranteed!) and you can always talk to me about/ask me anything!

If you've got an ask that's too long or something, submit!

bethrevis:

you could kill a man in any of these dresses, and pretty sure no jury would convict you. those are killing-men dresses, that’s what i’m saying

Source: thedaymarecollection

Source: chrisevansed

what even happened to the priest in the last potc anyway

like i’m pretty sure they left it open to interpretation on purpose and i get that, i do, but i wanna know tell me dammit

Tagged: you knowthe one with the mermaidhe was cuteand also like sweet and stuffand i totally cared more about him and the mermaid than the actual plot tbhand then it was like lol maybe he lived maybe he didn'tmaybe she ate himgood for her either way

FUCK YEAH IT’S MY 21ST BIRTHDAY

I’M GOING TO CELEBRATE BY DOING ABSOLUTELY FUCK ALL

Tagged: i'll probably go to lunch with mummaybe have a pina coladaprobably not the place i have in mind for lunch makes terrible pina coladasand honestly i like virgin pina coladas better anywaythey're sweeterand it takes a lot to get me even buzzedand i dislike alcoholsomaybe i'll see cap 2 that'd be funor maybe i'll sleep all day fuck it allllll

trilliath:


trilliath:

The guy is leaning against the door frame, looking a little winded, though he has the pizza bag balanced gently enough on his hand.
His eyes widen as Derek opens the door and his lips part in a soft ‘o’ before a flush spreads over his cheeks and a crinkled grin splits his face.
"Extra large pepperoni and mushrooms."
"You’re late," Derek says, though there’s not much bite to it. Just the usual hungry grouchiness that accompanies the anticipation of pizza.
"Sorry. There was… we weren’t sure which one of us was going to come. I had to arm-wrestle Scott for the tie-breaker." He seems smug about that for some reason as he slides the pizza out of the case and hands it over to Derek. "I’m Stiles, by the way."
Derek arches an eyebrow and says, “Derek,” since it’s only polite. He sets the pizza box aside.and takes the little mini clipboard to sign for the charge to his card.
Stiles plucks off the customer copy to hand to Derek and slides the clipboard into the bag, but he seems to be lingering a little, so Derek looks back at him, brows raised.
"So, uh. What do you think?" Stiles asks, eyelashes sweeping down flirtatiously as he leans against the door frame.
"About?"
"You know," Stiles replies, cheeks going hot.
Derek doesn’t know. But the variety of innuendos and possibilities that start spinning through his head are enough to distract him from the pizza and make him really look at the young man lingering in his doorway. His short hair is ruffled, strands going every which way like he runs his fingers through it on a regular basis. Bright eyes, a positively sinful mouth that’s quirked speculatively, and an appealing lanky form with just enough muscle in all the right places.
"Dude. About the special…" his face starts to pale and he straightens from his casual pose. "You have no idea what I’m talking about."
Derek shakes his head in confirmation, though he wishes now that he did know.
"Oh my god. Oh my god if Boyd did this as a - sorry. Sorry! Nevermind. Wow. Just."
He turns, face gone blank as he adds as almost an afterthought, “Excuse me. I have some murder to go commit. Uh, enjoy your pizza.”
And then he’s gone, disappearing down the apartment building hallway. Derek frowns after him, oddly disappointed at his departure and thoroughly confused.
Until he glances at the receipt in his hands.
The receipt that clearly says “special instructions: send your cutest delivery boy”
Derek leans his forehead against the door with a thump as he bellows, “CORA!”
His only response is hysterical laughter from behind the stairs.

It’s just an anomaly to be forgotten about, another thing to add to the list of “strange pizza delivery-boy shenanigans” that come with a job like this. And if he’s a little disappointed that Derek hadn’t actually sent for him (though Boyd had never actually admitted it, asking Stiles archly if he was calling Boyd a liar was the same as an admission, probably) it’s just another in a long string of missed opportunities and rejections.
So it takes a second for it to register two weeks later when Erica says with a mischievous smile as she snatches the box away from Scott’s waiting bag, “Not Scott. Stiles.”
"Huh? No. It’s Scott’s turn."
"537 Beacon Hill apartments, number 32 ring a bell?" she asks, eyebrows going up significantly.
He just continues to look at her like she’s crazy. Because she kindof is, as much as he loves her.
"Derek Hale," she says like she’s talking to a child, rolling her eyes as she shoves the box into his hands. "Hurry up. Don’t want to keep the man waiting," she adds with a wink.
Stiles glares as Isaac bursts into rude laughter, elbow deep in a batch of dough. Stiles just turns his glare back on Erica. “Not this again. Tell your boyfriend it wasn’t funny last time.”
She throws her hands up and makes a face that’s the picture of innocence. “Honest to god, it’s what the computer printed out from the customer!”
"Oh my god," Stiles says with a groan, taking the box and loading up the receipt tray into his bag. The printout clearly says "Send Stiles" in the little box for special instructions. He tries to quash the burble of hope that wells up in his chest at the thought that it might actually be intentional on Derek’s part. He doesn’t really want to get his pride crushed again. Then again, standing around looking at the others’ smirking faces doesn’t hold any appeal either so he quickly gathers his gear and heads out the door to load into his jeep.
The laughter he leaves in his wake has him vowing revenge of some sort on all of them. Like freezing Isaac’s keys in a block of ice. Or switching all of Erica’s work shirts for extra-extra-larges. Scott saves himself from the fate of having his cell-phone saran-wrapped by following him out, a worried frown replacing the glee on his face.
Read More

trilliath:

trilliath:

The guy is leaning against the door frame, looking a little winded, though he has the pizza bag balanced gently enough on his hand.

His eyes widen as Derek opens the door and his lips part in a soft ‘o’ before a flush spreads over his cheeks and a crinkled grin splits his face.

"Extra large pepperoni and mushrooms."

"You’re late," Derek says, though there’s not much bite to it. Just the usual hungry grouchiness that accompanies the anticipation of pizza.

"Sorry. There was… we weren’t sure which one of us was going to come. I had to arm-wrestle Scott for the tie-breaker." He seems smug about that for some reason as he slides the pizza out of the case and hands it over to Derek. "I’m Stiles, by the way."

Derek arches an eyebrow and says, “Derek,” since it’s only polite. He sets the pizza box aside.and takes the little mini clipboard to sign for the charge to his card.

Stiles plucks off the customer copy to hand to Derek and slides the clipboard into the bag, but he seems to be lingering a little, so Derek looks back at him, brows raised.

"So, uh. What do you think?" Stiles asks, eyelashes sweeping down flirtatiously as he leans against the door frame.

"About?"

"You know," Stiles replies, cheeks going hot.

Derek doesn’t know. But the variety of innuendos and possibilities that start spinning through his head are enough to distract him from the pizza and make him really look at the young man lingering in his doorway. His short hair is ruffled, strands going every which way like he runs his fingers through it on a regular basis. Bright eyes, a positively sinful mouth that’s quirked speculatively, and an appealing lanky form with just enough muscle in all the right places.

"Dude. About the special…" his face starts to pale and he straightens from his casual pose. "You have no idea what I’m talking about."

Derek shakes his head in confirmation, though he wishes now that he did know.

"Oh my god. Oh my god if Boyd did this as a - sorry. Sorry! Nevermind. Wow. Just."

He turns, face gone blank as he adds as almost an afterthought, “Excuse me. I have some murder to go commit. Uh, enjoy your pizza.”

And then he’s gone, disappearing down the apartment building hallway. Derek frowns after him, oddly disappointed at his departure and thoroughly confused.

Until he glances at the receipt in his hands.

The receipt that clearly says “special instructions: send your cutest delivery boy

Derek leans his forehead against the door with a thump as he bellows, “CORA!”

His only response is hysterical laughter from behind the stairs.

It’s just an anomaly to be forgotten about, another thing to add to the list of “strange pizza delivery-boy shenanigans” that come with a job like this. And if he’s a little disappointed that Derek hadn’t actually sent for him (though Boyd had never actually admitted it, asking Stiles archly if he was calling Boyd a liar was the same as an admission, probably) it’s just another in a long string of missed opportunities and rejections.

So it takes a second for it to register two weeks later when Erica says with a mischievous smile as she snatches the box away from Scott’s waiting bag, “Not Scott. Stiles.”

"Huh? No. It’s Scott’s turn."

"537 Beacon Hill apartments, number 32 ring a bell?" she asks, eyebrows going up significantly.

He just continues to look at her like she’s crazy. Because she kindof is, as much as he loves her.

"Derek Hale," she says like she’s talking to a child, rolling her eyes as she shoves the box into his hands. "Hurry up. Don’t want to keep the man waiting," she adds with a wink.

Stiles glares as Isaac bursts into rude laughter, elbow deep in a batch of dough. Stiles just turns his glare back on Erica. “Not this again. Tell your boyfriend it wasn’t funny last time.”

She throws her hands up and makes a face that’s the picture of innocence. “Honest to god, it’s what the computer printed out from the customer!”

"Oh my god," Stiles says with a groan, taking the box and loading up the receipt tray into his bag. The printout clearly says "Send Stiles" in the little box for special instructions. He tries to quash the burble of hope that wells up in his chest at the thought that it might actually be intentional on Derek’s part. He doesn’t really want to get his pride crushed again. Then again, standing around looking at the others’ smirking faces doesn’t hold any appeal either so he quickly gathers his gear and heads out the door to load into his jeep.

The laughter he leaves in his wake has him vowing revenge of some sort on all of them. Like freezing Isaac’s keys in a block of ice. Or switching all of Erica’s work shirts for extra-extra-larges. Scott saves himself from the fate of having his cell-phone saran-wrapped by following him out, a worried frown replacing the glee on his face.

Read More

mildlyanxiousatthedisco:

my hair is doing a thing am i brendon urie yet?

mildlyanxiousatthedisco:

my hair is doing a thing
am i brendon urie yet?

Tagged: looklook at the cutereblogging selfies makes me feel like a fucking creeperhow much older than you am iwas i creepy when we metare you even still following medOES THE FACT THAT I FIND YOU ADORABLE CREEP YOU OUTI'M SORRYI'M JUST A CREEPY OLD LADY I KNOW

AU ideas! →

authorkurikuri:

gets into a cab only to find someone else already inside AU
out walking their dog who starts chasing after the other person’s dog AU
cat/dog runs away and other person finds it AU
mistaken identity AU
pen pals AU
sit next to each other in orchestra AU

Source: authorkurikuri

OKAY BUT WHERE DID THE EXPLOSION OF METAPHOR THINGS COME FROM

ALSO WHY IS THERE LITERALLY NO AOS ON MY DASH

FUCKING LIKE OR REBLOG THIS OR SOME SHIT IF I CAN FIND ME SOME FUCKING AOS ON YOUR BLOG

Tagged: agents of shieldi need me some fucking sassy coulson okay

yamisora:

neoputa:

i have unlimited texting and i only text 3 people ever i think my phone company looks at my bill and just laughs

I actually went to get a new phone and the woman looked up my old usage and bill and laughed. Apparently, I payed for unlimited usage and used about 5% of it

haleyscomett-art:

I FOUND IT

NO ONE BELIEVED ME WHEN I SAID I HEARD AN ICE CREAM TRUCK DROPIN BEATS DOWN THE STREET

NOW I HAVE A VID TO PROVE IT OMG I’M SO HAPPY I DIDN’T IMAGINE IT YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME

Source: haleyscomett-art

lucleon:

religiousdad:

no homo for me, thanks. i couldn’t eat another bite

image

Source: religiousdad

tyleroakley:


courfeyrac-yourbody:

trolllinginthedeep:

yo
that’s fifty dollars for a t-shirt



Somehow Tumblr will hate him for this. They’ll find a way.

tyleroakley:

courfeyrac-yourbody:

trolllinginthedeep:

yo

that’s fifty dollars for a t-shirt

image

Somehow Tumblr will hate him for this. They’ll find a way.

Source: trolllinginthedeep

dangerousactivity:

Avoiding spoilers on tumblr

image

Source: dangerousactivity

jonbutter:

*puts the lime in the coconut but doesn’t drink it all up*

it’s a metaphor

Source: jonbutter

craigthethief:

f uCKING—

Source: craigthethief